Lindsey Branigan
In Myriam Gurba’s memoir Mean, Gurba writes about her journey through girlhood and womanhood and the violence and abuse that may sadly come along with it. Gurba describes herself as a queer Mexican woman, and growing up as a queer Mexican woman has made her into the person she is today. Throughout this memoir, there are traumatic events that happen such as sexual abuse and assault, racism, and misogyny, and Gurba uses her dark sense of humor to deal with these events. Along with her dark sense of humor, Gurba also uses metaphors, such as her usage of the term “ghosts.”
Throughout this memoir, Gurba mentions “ghosts” and death many times. The first time we read about ghosts is when Gurba is mentioning guilt. On page 3 after reading the story of Sophia, Gurba writes, “Sophia is always with me. She haunts me. Guilt is a ghost” (Gurba 3). Gurba writes this because guilt is not something we can see much like ghosts, but guilt is something that is carried with us or, like Gurba states, ‘haunts us.’ Nevertheless, it is not the last time we hear about it. The ghosts in this memoir are carried with Gurba, and end up aligning with her experiences with sexual abuse when she is in her history class in high school. Gurba describes an experience with her classmate, who she calls Macaulay. Gurba writes about the molestation, “You can’t see Macaulay on me, but you can read him. He treated me like an artist working with dirt” (Gurba 32). Macaulay in this instance is another ghost of Gurba’s past, one that molested her and left an “invisible imprint” (Gurba 32) on her When Gurba is in junior high, she describes an event that happened when she was drinking with her friends and was caught by the police, but was let go. “I was allowed to escape. I was allowed to walk away from that spot. Sophia was not. Guilt is a ghost. Guilt interrupts narratives. It does so impolitely. Ghosts have no etiquette…” (Gurba 55). In this instance, Gurba feels guilty that she was able to escape a situation when Sophia was not. Gurba was out, having a fun night with her friends, and was let go by the police officer. The thought of Sophia not being able to escape shrouded her mind and subconscious so much that it “interrupted her narrative so impolitely.” Myriam Gurba also had a sister, Ofelia. Ofelia dealt with Anorexia that consumed her as eating disorders do their hosts. Ofelia had to live at the hospital at one point, which Gurba wrote down and described how their home felt. Gurba writes, “When Ofelia went to live at the hospital, she became even more of a ghost” (Gurba 53). Gurba writes this because although her sister is absent, she can still feel her presence in the home. She can still feel her around (like the guilt she carries every day) even though she cannot physically see her or be with her.
Alongside ghosts, Gurba is intentional with her use of language. Whether it be her use of dark humor or the way she strategically places poems in the text, it is intentional. An example of her intentional use of language would be on page 71 when she is talking about her abuelita’s death. She writes, “Death does have a gender. She likes to flirt” (Gurba 71). Gurba writes this sentence and gives death the ‘she’ pronoun to go against the presumed gender roles and misogyny that have been constantly placed on her, her friends, and many inanimate things in life. When you think of death or the Grim Reaper, you typically think of a masculine figure that carries a sythe. Gurba saying ‘she’ breaks down those sterotypical gender normalities placed on everyday things.
Discussion Questions:
1.) What do you think the purpose of Gurba writing about guilt on page 55 was? Explain. Are there any other important examples of ghosts in the text that Gurba mentioned?
2.) Why do you think Gurba presumed death as “she,” and not “he,” or “it?” Do you think she did this on purpose? Why or why not?
Work Cited
Gurba, Myriam. Mean. Coffee House Press, 2017.
Hi Lindsey, great job on your blog post! I really like how you brought up these ghosts that are mentioned in the book. Regarding your first question, I believe that Myriam Gurba wrote about guilt on page 55 to emphasize the idea that she was a survivor of sexual assault, while Sophia was not. Gurba lives with this survival guilt knowing that Sophia was also a victim of sexual assault but wasn’t fortunate enough to come out alive. Gurba states “I was allowed to walk away from that spot. Sophia was not. Guilt is a ghost” (Gurba 55). Both Gurba and Sophia experienced traumatic events, but Sophia couldn’t walk away like Gurba did. Gurba feels this guilt and finds it wrong that Sophia’s life was taken away from her. Like ghosts, this guilt haunts Gurba knowing that Sophia wasn’t saved. To answer the second part of your question, another example of a ghost is when Gurba’s sister, Ofelia, was in the hospital. Gurba states “her absence was haunting the house, and I didn’t want to be there. I ran away from her ghost” (Gurba 53). In this example, Gurba refers to Ofelia’s absence as a ghost haunting her house. Ghosts are typically referring to the dead, but not in this case. I believe that these ghosts in the book refer to people who are hurting whether they are living or dead. Gurba can feel these people’s emotions through the haunting of their ghosts. These ghosts continue to affect Gurba’s life.
Hi Erin. Good job with this comment. In the future, try to provide a quote from the reading that hasn’t already been analyzed in the blog post. Bringing in additional examples (of guilt or ghosts) will allow the blogger to strengthen her interpretation.
Score: 4 out of 5
Hi Lindsey! Something I really enjoyed about your blog post was how you focused on Gurba’s thrive to tell stories about women. The importance of this is to show light on the traumatic experiences through each story, from a women’s perspective. This is giving the readers a chance to hear sides of stories that were never told before, maybe because it wasn’t allowed to be spoken upon. Knowing the history behind women in literature and seeing Gurba being able to express stories from these women are inspiring. Women being brought up into the text is a common theme in “Mean” especially in the titles of the texts; some examples of this are, “Bonnie” (Gurba 42), “Something I Often Reflect on as an Adult Woman” (Gurba 56), and “The Unbearable Whiteness of Certain Girls” (Gurba 57). Gurba has a focus on writing about women and to answer your second guiding question, when Gurba states, “Death does have a gender. She likes to flirt” (Gurba 71) this could be taken in two different meanings. The first one reflecting on all of the women who have died or it could be viewed as the power of women being too strong it’s deadly. It is not clear if Gurba referred to death as a “she” on purpose, however with the history and different clues thought the book it is to ab assumed that this word choice was intentional.
Good job with this comment, Emma! Just make sure to proofread for typos. “Thrive” doesn’t really make sense in the first sentence. If you haven’t already downloaded Grammarly, that plugin is very helpful!
Score: 4 out of 5
Hello there Lindsey! I want to commend you on how great a job you did on your blog post. One part of your piece that I considered very interesting was the connection you made about Gurba labeling death as female to make a statement about gender role prejudice made about females. The first time I read that line, I did not fully grasp her intended meaning of the phrase so it was refreshing to learn the purpose better. In answer to your second question, I think Gurba portrayed death as female rather than male because typically in art, death is drawn in a masculine way and she wishes to illustrate a point by changing it. I think she did this on purpose because through this expression and her stories of female struggle, Gurba wants to reject the concrete feminine roles assigned. One example struggle comes when Gurba voices that, “Death by anorexia is a fail-safe sexual-assault prevention technique” (52). In referencing both anorexia and sexual-assault, two problems faced by a large number of women, Gurba is showing her disgust towards their societal background that enables the treatment of women in this way.
Great job with this comment, Jenna! The last two sentences are a particularly strong example of evidence and analysis.
Score: 5 out of 5
Hi Lindsey, I really liked reading your blog post! I think that highlighting Myriam Gurba’s dark humor in your last paragraph was a great touch because there is so much of it throughout the memoir. For your first question, I think that the purpose of Gurba writing about guilt on page 55 was to bring up how she feels bad about the fact that Sofia had died. I think that she can understand what Sofia has been through to some degree because she is also a sexual assault survivor, but she feels bad that Sofia had died from her attack. It seems that Gurba is experiencing survivor’s guilt because she had gone through something similar and wasn’t able to help Sofia. For the second part of your question, I believe that there are many other important examples of ghosts in the text. One example is when she mentions Allen Ginsberg, a poet who died from AIDS, “AIDS ghosts weep beside trashcans. Only certain people can see them” (Gurba 83). I think this is important because this is the first time that a ghost in this book can only be seen by only some people. This may be connected to the stigma that was formed around people with AIDS which was that they should be secluded from society. Also, it can be connected to the stigma that only certain groups of people could get AIDS which explains why Gurba is saying that “Only certain people can see them”(83). Gurba understands the importance of addressing those who have AIDS and the issues they face even as ghosts.
Excellent comment, Katie! You do a great job of analyzing the “AIDS ghosts,” in addition to all of the other kinds of ghosts we’ve encountered in this book.
Score: 5 out of 5
Hey Lindsey, I really enjoyed reading your blog post! I really like how you choose to talk about Gurba’s dark sense of humor. I think it was important for this chapter that you incorporated Gurba’s use of the word “ghosts”. I agree with you that Gurba is referencing guilt when she says ghosts, how guilt is this ghost that doesn’t go away and just stays still hanging over us. I thought it was very interesting that you choose to incorporate how Gurba gives death the pronoun “she”. To answer your second discussion question, I definitely think Gurba’s use of presuming death as a “she” was intentional as most of her choice of language is, normally you wouldn’t refer to death as “he” or “she”, and if you did you would probably be more likely to reference death as “he”. I think Gurba’s purpose of giving death the pronoun “she” would be to take away the power of masochistic men and to give the power to women. Gurba uses this book to show her rejection of stereotypical gender roles. On page 61, Gurba talks about this white girl who has a tattoo, Gurba quotes “… tattooed with the word misandry to express her hatred for the male sex. This tattooed thigh makes her the ultimate women” (Gurba 61). This quote shows how Gurba values breaking down these gender expectations and empowering women.
Good job with this comment, Chloe!
Score: 5 out of 5
Hi Lindsey! Great post! I liked how you made the connection between ghosts and guilt. I agree that something like guilt, in this case Gurba’s story about her interaction with the police, and where the incident took place, stayed with her. It may not be visible, similar to a ghost, but it’s in your mind, like guilt. Regarding you first question on why Myriam Gurba wrote about guilt on page 55, was to explain that even though she was lucky enough to have escaped death and survive after being sexual assaulted, she feels guilty that Sophia didn’t. Sophia Torres, was a migrant worker who was raped and murdered on a baseball diamond in Santa Maria park near Gurba’s childhood home. Gurba was also assaulted by the same man after her first year of college. Torres appears throughout the book like a ghost as Gurba deals with her own PTSD and sexual assault trauma. The night Gurba was drinking with her friends she said “I was allowed to escape. I was allowed to walk away from that spot. Sophia was not. Guilt is a ghost. Guilt interrupts narratives. It does so impolitely. Ghosts have no etiquette.” (Gurba 55). She was able to throw beer cans over what was now Sophia’s grave. Sophia didn’t escape that spot. This haunts Gurba because it could have been her, why does it have to be anyone though? She brings attention to the fact that even if you are a survivor you are permanently affected. What do you do next? Another example of a ghost is “when Ofelia went to live at the hospital she became more of a ghost.” (Gurba 53) Her not being around made it seem like she was around everywhere according to Gurba. She could feel her around, like the guilt she carries with her everyday. These ghosts are always there.
Wow, this is excellent analysis, Sydnie! You do a great job analyzing how these different kinds of ghosts represent a kind of haunting and lingering presence of those who might not be immediately and physically present.
Score: 5 out of 5
Hi Lindsey, I enjoyed reading your blog post! I liked how you touched on the use of “ghosts” in this section of the text and how it metaphorically represents many things in the book. Touching on your first discussion question I think the purpose of Gurba writing about guilt was to show that she feels guilty knowing that Sophia did not survive her assault, but she did. Gurba has to go through every day feeling guilty knowing that Sophia could not walk away alive from this agonizing event, yet she was able to live another day. Regarding the second part of your question, Gurba talks about her sister, Ofelia, using the metaphor of a ghost. Gurba believes Ofelia has anorexia, but her parents do not believe her and when they bring up this eating disorder the doctor claims she can’t be anorexic because “she’s Mexican.” Gurba uses the ghost metaphor to describe her sister saying “Ofelia got as wispy and quiet as a ghost (Gurba 52). Here Gurba is uses the ghost metaphor to talk about Ofelia’s physical appearance and how Anorexia has affected her. Anorexia is a horrible disorder that affects many young people and describing Ofelia as a ghost she is using the word to explain how bad it has been for Ofelia. There is plenty of times Gurba uses the metaphor of “ghosts” to explain feelings she has about certain things.
Good job with this comment, Justin! In the future, try to make claims like this one more specific:
“There is plenty of times Gurba uses the metaphor of “ghosts” to explain feelings she has about certain things.”
What feelings? What “certain things”? Try to replace these broad generalizations with specific analyses of Gurba’s words.
Score: 4 out of 5